Stand up and be counted

Stand up and be counted

I appeal that we combat this sleazy disease called “Street harassment”.

I stand in front of you in anguish, trepidation lest I may not be understood for my intention,

lest I be misunderstood for voicing a volatile subject,

lest I be dismissed as a feminist.

I stand as a woman, as a mother for my daughter and a thousand other daughters like her who go through this harrowing experience every day, twice. 

Months ago my daughter and her friend came home raging about Chennai ... Changing their opinion about this lovely city. Saying they wanted to move out of this city, that Men here were lecherous and cheap. 

I was shocked and stunned

What happened? 

Men lift their lungis, they stare at us like they have never seen a woman before, make crude remarks about our body , our dress , they sing lewd songs when we walk by they even try to grope ,or pinch our bottoms at traffic signals and today in “27 D” as we were standing in a crowded bus talking , there was this well dressed man swaying towards us leering in our direction, holding the iron rod near our fingers , how do we express that he was unwelcome the conductor passed by feigning blindness as did many other people till an old lady came to our rescue shouted him in the most musical colourful language, and he slunk away . I feel so dirty; a hundred baths will not cleanse me 

I sat speechless, my skin crawled and my stomach churned. I had this wonderful picture of taking my daughter moving away to another country where women will not be leered at, or seen as objects of desire.

With due respect and acceptance to the exceptions seated here, I ask what can I do about this? What can you do about this? How can we tip the balance against street harassment?

After a sleepless night I formed a 5 step approach called AWARE to build confidence and preparedness 

v  A Accept that you are a woman, and don't belittle yourself for your looks, height, colour or weight, hold your head high and believe in yourself don't panic. 

v  W Watch yourself ... Pause be perceptive gauge your locality, surroundings, pre-empt any situation which can lead to touch. 

v  A Act as if you already have help, look at who might be able to rouse a ruckus and support you.

v  R Remember to call the police, or parents, or anyone else near by. 

v  E Ensure you are not in the dark ,and lonely areas ensure you do not travel alone keep a safety measure like pepper spray ,or chilly powder.

Having said this our fear and insecurity to step out has to be burnt we like Phoenix have to fly again, rise from this deteriorating ashes 

If we as urban middle class do not stand up how will others who live in smaller villages fight this insolent might? 

Build awareness, use this awareness, create awareness, apply this awareness 

I ask of every single person not to drive away when you see such injustice happen .Time and again I bless this old lady for her gumption to shout away a lecherous worm and save my daughter of her dignity.

I appeal to change our mindset, to sensitise ourselves to the women in our lives, to stand up and be counted as a voice that will be heard against street harassment 

I remember this poem I read in a world war 2 written by a pastor Martin Niemoller

I quote:

First they came for the Socialists. ,

And

I did not speak out, because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists

And

I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews

And

I did not speak out because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me

And

There was no one to speak for me

Stand up and be counted, let our collective psyche change darkness to dawn 

Can we allow our women to be muted by such deviants? 

Will you stand up and be counted? 

                                                                  ___