Recently I was fuming and flew off my handle with a dear one.
I thought enough is enough!
I went through some real anger, self righteousness, analyzing, judging and blame at others.
I even banged my toes which to me is a physical manifestation of my own inability to move or walk away from a problem. However it did give me time to think in a sorry and sad way for myself about what I was doing to myself.
I was immobilized and all activities came to a stand still. I was forced by the Universe to stay in bed till I was ready to face the issue.
I had time to be with my thoughts and more importantly listen to them,
Some of my feelings that I could agree with was one, that I was very upset , because I had high expectations from him , and even though I thought I had communicated well, the message was not received in the way in which I meant it that led to this breakdown of communication and resulted in my being upset .
On his part he felt that I was not kind or understanding enough about his situation. this led to a mismatch of our needs. I was mad with myself for not being in charge of my feelings and emotions. I went into a guilt trip for not being stronger and more compassionate.
That’s when it struck me … Was I being compassionate to myself first?
A strong No! Was the answer I got from within?
I began to be kinder to myself fill myself with appreciation, acceptance and gentleness that I needed for my Self it took me a week to be my own best Pal. once I was filled with calmness and tranquility I was able to see the “other” in the same way .
I was able to stomach what happened
My health slowly improved, the pain that manifested in my legs started to subside.
I am now able to see that my empathy for myself can be reflected only when I am able to come from a space of consideration for myself and the other,
To see a ‘sameness’ instead of ‘otherness’ can happen only when I am calm and receptive
To relate with compassion instead of mere passion is an essential truth if I want to build relationships
I can up the settings instead of being upset with the settings
I went through some real anger, self righteousness, analyzing, judging and blame at others.
I even banged my toes which to me is a physical manifestation of my own inability to move or walk away from a problem. However it did give me time to think in a sorry and sad way for myself about what I was doing to myself.
I was immobilized and all activities came to a stand still. I was forced by the Universe to stay in bed till I was ready to face the issue.
I had time to be with my thoughts and more importantly listen to them,
Some of my feelings that I could agree with was one, that I was very upset , because I had high expectations from him , and even though I thought I had communicated well, the message was not received in the way in which I meant it that led to this breakdown of communication and resulted in my being upset .
On his part he felt that I was not kind or understanding enough about his situation. this led to a mismatch of our needs. I was mad with myself for not being in charge of my feelings and emotions. I went into a guilt trip for not being stronger and more compassionate.
That’s when it struck me … Was I being compassionate to myself first?
A strong No! Was the answer I got from within?
I began to be kinder to myself fill myself with appreciation, acceptance and gentleness that I needed for my Self it took me a week to be my own best Pal. once I was filled with calmness and tranquility I was able to see the “other” in the same way .
I was able to stomach what happened
My health slowly improved, the pain that manifested in my legs started to subside.
I am now able to see that my empathy for myself can be reflected only when I am able to come from a space of consideration for myself and the other,
To see a ‘sameness’ instead of ‘otherness’ can happen only when I am calm and receptive
To relate with compassion instead of mere passion is an essential truth if I want to build relationships
I can up the settings instead of being upset with the settings
3 comments:
Dear Shyla,
Thank you for being such a fine and enligtened sister for me.May be,you are the becon for many.
ameDear Shyla,
Thank you for being such a fine and enligtened sister for me.May be,you are the becon for many.
Thank you Chinna, it means a lot ,your blessinga and appreciation
shyla
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